(b4r:"solid")+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[The story itself is about a tragic love that started in 1964 where Diajeng Sekar Ayu as a Princess from Central Java and Hendrik van den Berg was a mixed-blood Indonesian and Dutch kid who became an Indonesian officer. Since a long distance was separating them, they wrote letters to keep each other updated.
Unfortunately, right before their one-year anniversary, the thing that Hendrik had been dreading happened.
To discover what happened to this love story, let’s read on!]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Introduction]] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://asset-2.tstatic.net/jogja/foto/bank/images/malioboro-tempo-dulu_2110.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[My name is Diajeng Sekar Ayu but my family always calls me Sekar. My mother believes that by calling my name as Sekar, it will bring out something good in whatever that I did. As a child, I was very interested in dancing at the hall along with my friends, but now that I grew up, dancing is not my favourite activity anymore. I began trying something new like reading a book and writing a letter to whoever it was. I only have one friend named Bagus. Bagus and I have been friends since we were kids. We’ve actually been friends since we were in the womb, this is because my mum is a close friend of Bagus’s mum, Budhe Sri.
Me and Bagus always went to the same school because my father put a lot of faith in Bagus. Until we were forced to separate because Budhe Sri was going to leave Solo because of her husband’s job that moved to Jakarta. I was terribly upset because Bagus was going to leave Solo, but not only that, I couldn’t get out easily because there was no Bagus to ask for permission from my father.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->The Invitation]] ''The Invitation''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I had received a letter that Bagus had sent from Jakarta about a dinner to celebrate his 25th birthday. Bagus had asked my father for permission to allow me to go to Jakarta, but he ordered one of the guards to look after me on the way to Jakarta. I understood why he was doing this, because he didn’t want his only daughter to have any problems on the way, knowing that I was very bad at remembering things, and he was afraid that his daughter would get lost in the big city.
After looking in my closet to find the right clothes to wear later, Mbok Narti, the person who helped me find the best clothes to wear, offered me a choice of two, “Non, this white dress is perfect for Non to wear” she said as she showed me a white knee-length dress. Then she gave me another option, a light blue top with a matching batik skirt that looked very elegant, “Wow, if Non wears this top with a batik as your skirt, it will look very elegant. I bet a lot of people in town will ask Non to introduce themselves”.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[White dress]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[A light blue top with a matching batik skirt]](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I fell in love at first sight when I saw the dress; it just reminds me of Bagus’s favourite colour. He would be happy to see me in his favourite colour.
After I found the dress that I would wear at the party, I quickly went to the station to leave for Jakarta.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Jakarta, 1964 #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I never thought that blue would suit me so well, since I never wear brightly coloured outfits like blue, yellow or pink. It was true what Mbok Narti said that I would look more elegant with a blue top combined with a batik as a skirt. However, I don’t know if Bagus would be happy to see me in this outfit because he would choose the white dress over this blue top. Still, I was curious about how Bagus would react when he saw me.
The clock on the wall shows that it’s already 5pm, which means that my time to go to Jakarta is already late. It was my own mistake for being so picky about the outfit to wear for the party.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to the railway station ->Taking another train #1]]''Jakarta, 1964''
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://asset-a.grid.id/crop/75x50:675x450/700x0/photo/2021/02/27/monas-1jpg-20210227030518.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[A different atmosphere greeted me when I arrived in Jakarta. The noise of vehicles and dialogue in Dutch was starting to reach my ears. I couldn’t imagine travelling alone to this city without the bodyguard that my father had ordered to be with me.
European-style buildings came into sight as I stepped out of Gambir station. There were so many locals working as porters, carrying passengers’ luggage from the train to where they were picked up. Fifty thousand for their services regardless of how much and obviously heavy the luggage they were carrying.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Jakarta, 1964 #2]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[From a distance, I saw a silver Mercedes Benz coming closer to me, with the horn on. “Hey, Ayu come here” said the man while spreading his arms. Bagus, that man is Bagus. We hugged tightly because it had been four years since we met. “You’re still the same as the last time we met when I was about to move here”, well it was true that there was no significant change in me and I also noticed it.
Not long after that, a mustang that looks as luxurious as Bagus’s car arrived, which turned out to be a car that my father had prepared for me during the time I stayed in Jakarta. “Non, Bapak told me to drive this vehicle. Mas Bagus can follow behind but Non must get into the car that has been prepared from Bapak”, this is one of my father’s behaviour that I really don’t like, he always controls everything and I, as his son, have to obey him. Bagus looked into my eyes like he was persuading me to come along with him.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[Get in to Bagus’s car]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Obeying my father’s command ->Obey her father]]](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I tried to convince the adjutant to let me ride in Bagus’s car and told him to follow the car from behind. Although the adjutant agreed to do what I said, for once he said it was to warm my heart for not seeing Bagus for a long time.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://histofreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Sudirman-Street-during-1960.jpeg">]
During the ride, Bagus shared many things about his life in Jakarta. Starting from his friendships with the Dutch and the shows he often saw when he was free. I listened to all of it carefully because I didn’t want to miss anything that came out of his mouth. “I have to introduce you to one of my friends,” Bagus said with excitement. To be honest, I’ve never been interested in meeting new people, especially men. It’s not that I’m arrogant, but it feels awkward to start a conversation with a new person that I don’t know at all. “Don’t bother, maybe I’ll get my man on your birthday tomorrow night,” I said with no intention of continuing this conversation.
Bagus drove me to my stay in Jakarta. “I will pick you up this evening to head down to the club,” Bagus said without waiting for agreement and simply walked away.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Enter the house ->In her room]] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://res.cloudinary.com/wegowordpress/image/upload/v1600672591/COLLECTIE_TROPENMUSEUM_Treinen_op_het_station_van_Tjibatoe_West-Java_TMnr_60010786_kduuk0.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[As soon as I got there, I went to the station to buy a ticket for Jakarta that departed at that moment. Thankfully, I got two tickets that departed immediately.
During the ride, I couldn’t fall asleep because I felt uneasy thinking about how Bagus would react to seeing me again. But my daydreaming was interrupted when I spotted a man reading Harper Lee’s //To Kill a Mockingbird//. He caught my attention, not just because of what he was reading, but also because of his looks.
Then our eyes accidentally met each other. As fast as I turned away my glance, my face felt warm remembering the blue eyes that made me feel like I was drowning.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Taking another train #2]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Suddenly my stomach made a noise. It was probably because I didn’t take time to buy something before leaving, however it is also caused by my own negligence. My adjutant also seemed to sleep soundly from the beginning of the departure until now. I wasn’t sure if I should (text-colour:#1971c2)[[try to sleep ->Jakarta, 1964 #1]] or (text-colour:#e03131)[[take a walk ->Take a walk]] to see the other carriages, in case I might find a piece of bread or something I can eat.](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I decided to walk to the back carriage, hoping to find something I could buy to eat. But, I found a man with blue eyes eating a sandwich that made me want one.
I went closer to him, with the intention of asking where he got the food, instead what I got was a sandwich that was still wrapped tightly “Don’t worry, I didn’t poison this sandwich. Eat it, my mother made it” he said because of the look of suspicion on my face. After saying thank you, I quickly returned to my seat since the train had almost arrived at Gambir station. Ah, what a pity I missed the chance to introduce myself to him.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Back to my seat ->Jakarta, 1964 #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Actually, I was too tired to obey all of my father’s orders. I walked towards the car so fiercely that I accidentally closed the car door quite hard. “Non, I’m sorry because I have to obey what Bapak tells me to do” Yes, I understood his position as an underling who had to obey him but I also got annoyed because I couldn’t do anything, and I was already glad to be allowed to travel to Jakarta anyway.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://histofreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Sudirman-Street-during-1960.jpeg">]
On the way, all of a sudden I was thinking about the man I met on the train earlier. The feeling of regret for not asking his name was back and I hoped that we would meet again.
Thinking about him, I didn’t realise that I had just arrived at the place where I was going to stay in Jakarta. Bagus’s car had also just arrived and he only rolled down the window without getting out, “Hey, I’ll be back again this evening to take you around Jakarta” he said as he drove away leaving me to process what he said before.]
[[Next ->In her room]] ''Until the Day I Die''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[The next day, I finally had enough courage to speak to my father. He seemed fine with the coffee on the small table beside him.
“I’ll follow your wishes”, he immediately got up from his chair and hugged me tightly. “Thank you for choosing your family over that Dutch guy, I’m very happy to hear that”. With a heavy heart, I hugged my father back and attempted to surrender.
My mother came over to me and hugged me tightly, “You can do this, you are so great. I know that making this decision isn’t easy, but I’m sure that you know what's best for you right now”. These tears suddenly came out profusely and suddenly I felt that this was the right thing to do, because family is everything.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Until the Day I Die #2]] ''She Likes Another Boy''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[None of us wanted to start breaking the silence among ourselves. Until Bagus came over, neither Hendrik nor I said a word. “Hey, Hendrik, please don’t look at my friend. I think your eyeballs are popping out,” suddenly our eyes met. He quickly turned away his eyes while I was confused by his action. Is there something wrong with my outfit or something that makes him pay attention to me in such a way?
He laughed and introduced himself but again I replied briefly because I’m not the type of person who easily mingles with strangers. Bagus whispered to me that it was actually Hendrik who brought him here because he wanted to get to know me.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->She Likes Another Boy #2]] ''I'll Never Smile Again''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I must face the reality of continuing my life again even though Hendrik is gone.
Suddenly, Bagus came and approached me “Ayu!!! Hey, how is this going?” I had no clue how to react other than crying. Bagus, realising my situation, immediately took me back to his house.
Along the way I was just wondering what my life would be like after this.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->I'll Never Smile Again #2]] (text-colour:red)[//content warning: suicide attempts; suicide thoughts;major characters death//]
''We Belong Together''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I can’t bear the fact that Hendrik has left me.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to the kitchen ->We Belong Together #2]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[To be honest, I really didn’t want to go out this evening because I usually didn’t go out when it started to get dark, and my father warned me not to go out when the sun had started to set. But then, I think about when else I could go out after dark without my father’s permission.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Stay and take a rest ->Stay and take a rest]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Going out with Bagus ->Going out with Bagus #1]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[The adjutant said Bagus is waiting at the front, but I told him to shoo him away and said that I was already asleep because I was tired and didn’t want to see anyone now. However, Bagus is not a person who doesn’t force things to happen.
He kept trying to take me along because he thought it would be a bit of a waste for me not to go out. I started to feel indecisive, what Bagus said was also true because it would be a real waste if I didn’t go and just stay in this room.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Going out with Bagus #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[In the end, I agreed to go with Bagus. He was really excited to hear that I was going with him to explore Jakarta and see the popular entertainment places these days.
I just wear long pants and a blouse with my hair down. He said I should try to look like this once in a while so I wouldn’t look old-fashioned in front of people in Jakarta and didn’t take what he said seriously because he was right about my style being old-fashioned since my father strictly forbade me to wear pants because he thought only men wore pants.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go out with Bagus ->What a Feeling #1]] ''What a Feeling''
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://faktabanten.co.id/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/TANAMUR.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Bagus’s car was parked in front of a building named “Tanamur”. Before I even entered, I heard the music outside the building, and I couldn’t imagine how loud it would be from inside. Not long after, a man in a blue shirt approached Bagus. His name was Hendrik. He looked at me for a long time as if he knew me from before.
We got into the Tanamur easily because Bagus is quite famous here and also he is a wealthy man who is certainly known by many people in Jakarta. The dim light hurt my eyes and made me sleepy. I’ve never been to an entertainment place like this before and I’m sure Solo doesn’t have one either.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->What a Feeling #2]] ''Invisible String''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I encouraged myself to start a conversation with Hendrik. I was sure that he wouldn’t mess with me because he is Bagus’s best friend. “I’m sorry if I gave an unfriendly first impression, it’s just because I’m afraid to interact with strangers,” I said, to break the silence between us. “Hahaha I understand because by hearing your name I can infer that you are the princess of the Royal Palace in Solo.” He laughed as if it was familiar. He seemed to understand the change in my expression before I opened my mouth to ask, “Yes, I’m the person you met on the train from Solo to Jakarta”.
I had known since the first time I saw his face despite the dim lighting, but the blue eyes that had caught me off guard were apparently the man who was very close with my best friend, Bagus.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Invisible String #2]]''Nothing Feels Better''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[This feeling I couldn’t handle any longer. I don’t know why Hendrik can easily replace Bagus, who obviously has known me better. I can’t fall asleep thinking about the decision of either (text-colour:#1971c2)[[[confessing my feelings to Bagus ->What Did You Expect?]]] during his birthday party as my intention to come here or (text-colour:#e03131)[[[trying to open up to Hendrik. ->I Think He Knows]]]]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[From the moment Bagus and I arrived at the Tanamur, I felt like I was being watched by Hendrik. His face is not very clear due to the dim lighting here, but I feel like I’ve met him before. “Hi, I’m Hendrik” as he shakes my hand, I reply with a brief introduction and a smile to make it seem more friendly. Don’t ask me where Bagus is, because he’s already on the dance floor with a woman I don’t even know.
Suddenly, the atmosphere became awkward since not a single word was out of my mouth and Hendrik’s. Both of us were too shy to open up a conversation. I actually felt comfortable with this atmosphere because Hendrik was a complete stranger and I didn’t really want to start a conversation with someone I didn’t know.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Get to know Hendrik first ->Invisible String #1]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Ignore Hendrik and continue to be in an awkward situation ->She Likes Another Boy #1]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Right after, Bagus came over and asked me what we were talking about because we looked so serious from a distance. I only reacted to his question with a laugh because this was ridiculous considering that I should be the one to ask him to get introduced not Hendrik but he said that honestly he already knew me because Bagus always mentioned everything about me to him.
Finally we returned to our places but something felt off, a strange feeling that made me suddenly want to see Hendrik again. Whereas my original intention of coming to Jakarta was also to confess my feelings for Bagus that I had been keeping to myself for a long time.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Nothing Feels Better]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[When I heard that, I couldn’t believe it because I had never seen Hendrik before. But Bagus explained that he knew me because Bagus always told me about myself.
This was enough to make me feel shy since I had been crushing on Bagus for a long time. Yes, it was true that I love my best friend. I used to think it was just puppy love, eventually this feeling kept growing as I got older. However, I would never confess my feelings and only kept them to myself and had no intention of taking a step away from Bagus.]
(text-colour:red)[[End ->Ending Alternative #3]]Congratulations on finding the 3rd alternative ending to the main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Jakarta, 1964 #1]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->What a Feeling #1]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[This might be the right choice to take on a new experience and slowly move on from Bagus.
Anyway, having a crush on a new guy was less miserable than hoping for Bagus who I didn’t even know about his feelings for me. Yet in truth, I also still hope that Bagus will love me back.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to the Bagus’s party ->Under The Ballgowns #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[The feelings that I have for Hendrik may be temporary, however, I shouldn’t forget about my feelings for Bagus just because a guy with mixed blood between Indonesia and the Dutch has a crush on me.
Also, my father wouldn’t agree with my relationship with Hendrik because he has a personal beef with the Dutch who lived in Indonesia.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to the Bagus’s party ->Under The Ballgowns #1]] ''Under The Ballgowns''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I am ready to go to Bagus’s party, without forgetting to bring a gift that has been wrapped up beautifully and well. My father’s adjutant was ready to take me to Bagus’s and his family’s residence, since the 25th birthday party was being held intimate, and only Bagus’s close friends and colleagues were invited.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://asset-a.grid.id/crop/0x0:0x0/700x465/photo/2022/07/15/perumahan-elite-bataviajpg-20220715114304.jpg">]
“Sekar, come here dear!” someone called out from a distance when I arrived. It turned out that Budhe Sri was the one who called me. The 55-year-old Budhe Sri looked gorgeous in her long pink dress, which had silver embellishments around her lower half. “Budhe is always looking beautiful,” I praised Bagus’s mum.
Budhe Sri invites me into her grand living room which has been decorated to celebrate her son’s birthday. This is unusual to see in my household because my father still firmly believes in Javanese culture and refuses to get affected by western culture, such as annual birthday celebrations.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Under The Ballgowns #2]] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://img.freepik.com/premium-photo/male-suit-fashion-formal-suit-classic-style-outfit-elegant-and-stylish-hipster-business-clothes-rich_265223-63285.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[From afar, a man in a black suit with a red bow tie waves to me. Bagus, the man I’ve loved for a long time. I smiled as he walked closer, “Hey, why are you like a lost cat? This house is nothing compared to your palace in Solo. Hahaha”, “You’re always talking about that, Gus”, I replied while blushing because Bagus was looking very handsome tonight.
Around 8pm, Bagus blew out the candles in the shape of numbers 2 and 5 and this became a sign that Bagus was 1 year older than me. We had spent 15 years together and during that time I had been holding back my feelings for Bagus.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Under The Ballgowns #3]] ''Out Of Reach''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[This morning I decided to go back to Solo immediately because I was confused about what to do. Suddenly Bagus was in front of my room with a red rose.
I was naturally surprised because I still wasn’t able to give him an answer about last night. “I can see that you chose Hendrik instead of me” he said with a smile “Hendrik is the perfect man for you, he loves reading books, just like you. And he’s also my best friend. I’m very happy that you’re in a relationship with someone I know well”.
I couldn’t say anything but hug Bagus tightly and say thank you for supporting my relationship with Hendrik.]
(text-colour:grey)[[The Letter ->LETTER #1]] ''The Prologue''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Once I arrived in Solo, I went directly to my house and had a rest. I can’t wait for the letter from Hendrik, even though I'm not really expecting it.
My father asked how Bagus’s family was and what I’d been doing in Jakarta. I wanted to tell him about my recent meeting with Hendrik but I stopped myself.
“I heard from Sri that Bagus expressed his feelings for you,” Mom joined the conversation between me and my father. There was no surprised look on my father’s face when he heard what my mother said. “Yes, Mom, but I can’t say anything back to Bagus,” I said with calmness because I didn’t want her to ask any further questions. Suddenly, the conversation was interrupted by Mbok Narti who handed me a letter, “Non, here’s a letter from Mas Bagus”.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to my room ->The Prologue #2]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I jumped with joy when I got the letter and went to my room, locking it so that no one would come in.
It had a mark of H, it seems that Hendrik wrote his initials on the back of the letter. I was so nervous as I read the letter.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Open the letter ->LETTER #2]] ''The News''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[While I was going to my parents’ room, my father suddenly came out of the room with a look of anger on his face.
He throws me some papers. I am shocked by his action, so I carefully pick up the papers.
What a surprise that the letter from Hendrik ended up in my father’s hands. I couldn’t imagine what would happen to my relationship. It seemed I only had two possibilities, either beg him to accept my relationship or run away and settle down in Jakarta with Hendrik.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Begging my father to give his approval for my relationship with Hendrik ->Beggin’ On Your Knees #1]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Ran away from Solo ->Run Away With Me #1]]]''Beggin’ On Your Knees''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I decided to ask my parents for their blessing, especially my father. I’m sure he would have strongly disapproved of my relationship because Hendrik was a //sinyo//.
//Sinyo// is the nickname given to those who have a native mother and a Dutch father. He hates that and I never knew why he hates it so much.
“Father, please accept my relationship with Hendrik. Hendrik is the man that I love, not Bagus,” I begged, hoping that his heart would melt. “Once no, it’s always no. Are you willing to become a Dutch slave again?! Break up with him or leave from my sight and you will never see your parents” I could see the anger in his eyes.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Beggin’ On Your Knees #2]] ''Tell Me Why''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[The next day I tried to convince my father of what I have been feeling.
“Maybe it’s time for you to know why I am worried about your relationship with the young man” He began to tell me the story of his sister who was married to a man from the Netherlands.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Tell Me Why #2]] ''Feel Something''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#2b8a3e)[Little did Diajeng realise that her father, Raden Abimanyu Kartanegara, had a very cruel plan.
He didn’t want the incident that had happened to him many years before to be repeated a second time. So he made a plan to kill Hendrik without doing it by himself, instead he used someone else to do it.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Feel Something #2]] //''(text-colour:#4263eb)[Bagus’s Point of View]''//
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[I feel sorry to see Hendrik like this, but I can never refuse an order from Pakdhe Abimanyu because I also want Ayu to be mine only.
But if I didn’t help him, I would feel very guilty for the rest of my life because one of the causes of Hendrik’s death was me.]]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Help Hendrik ->All I Wanted #1]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Refused to help Hendrik ->Traitor #1]]] ''Meet Me in the Hallway''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I totally empathise with the situation in Jakarta at the moment. 1965 was a year of chaos due to the transition of Soekarno’s regime and replaced it with Soeharto’s.
There are rumours of the communist persecution that give me goosebumps regarding what’s been going on there. It made me begin to understand why Hendrik couldn’t leave Jakarta because he’s an aide to a well-known Indonesian army general.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Meet Me in the Hallway #2]] ''It’s Time To Go''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I pass a message for Hendrik through Bagus telling Hendrik to go back to the Netherlands for a while until the situation in Indonesia is settled.
I can’t imagine if he got affected by the current chaos in Jakarta.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Feel Something #1]] ''Hold On''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I tell Bagus on his way back to Jakarta to pass on my message for Hendrik that he should stay there until everything is fine again.
I also tell Bagus that I’ll be in Jakarta next month to celebrate my first anniversary with Hendrik.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Happiest Year #1]]''Happiest Year''
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://cdn1-production-images-kly.akamaized.net/yZ2EKLPxDQ971odwkPvP86qThrQ=/500x281/smart/filters:quality(75):strip_icc():format(webp)/kly-media-production/medias/3447497/original/025618800_1620110241-10559695_10154591723430019_8826230479568027662_n.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[The moment I had been waiting for finally came, the 29th of September 1965. The day when I will go to Jakarta to give Hendrik a surprise. I already missed Hendrik so much.
On the way to Jakarta, I heard the news that there would be a massive communist attack in Indonesia. All of sudden, I started to think about Hendrik.
I hope he stays in Jakarta as I told Bagus last time.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Arriving in Jakarta->Happiest Year #2]] ''Too Sad to Cry''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[When I arrived, I saw the door broken as if the house had been forced to get inside purposely.
“Hendrik, Hendrik!!! I’m coming! Where are you dear?!” I shouted from the doorway but there was no response.
Until I spotted fresh blood pouring from the doorway leading to the main room.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Heading to the main room ->Too Sad to Cry #2]] Congratulations on finding the 2nd alternative ending to the main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Let My Heart Decide]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->The News]]] Congratulations on finding the 4th alternative ending to the main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Tell Me Why #1]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->Bagus's Point of View]]] Congratulations on finding the 1st alternative ending to the main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Tell Me Why #1]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->Bagus's Point of View]]] Congratulations on finding the 1st main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Meet Me in the Hallway #1]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->Happiest Year #1]]] Congratulations on finding the 2nd main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Meet Me in the Hallway #1]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->Happiest Year #1]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Once I got home, Budhe Sri gave me a warm hug and told me to be strong and steady.
I didn’t want to spend more time in Jakarta because this city would always remind me of Hendrik and all his memories.
I also decided not to get married forever because all my love belonged to Hendrik.]
(text-colour:blue)[[End ->Main Ending #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[With a strong decision, I made my way to the kitchen to look for a knife.
Yes, I am going to end my life too because there is no such thing as having a life without Hendrik in it.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Back to Hendrik’s room ->We Belong Together #3]] ''Traitor''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[I let Hendrik be abused and carried by these rebels into their car and I’m sorry Hendrik, but this is all I have to do to make Ayu mine again.
After collecting some evidence that Hendrik had died, I decided to immediately travel to Solo by train, which would leave soon after.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Arriving in Ayu’s house ->Traitor #2]] ''All I Wanted''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[I decided to help Hendrik secretly.
When they had knocked him out, I stepped out of my hiding place and said that I was the one sent by their leader to bring Hendrik over.
They looked confused but in the end gave Hendrik to me.
Along the way, I kept saying sorry to myself because Hendrik's condition was certainly caused by me.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->All I Wanted #2]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I was shocked by this morning’s news that I heard on the radio.
But I felt that Hendrik is still alive and the news was just a hoax. Until I receive a letter from Bagus.
I don’t know what else to do and all I do these days is sleep, eat and daydream about Hendrik.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Always #1]]
''After Dark''
(text-colour:#2b8a3e)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Hendrik has been preparing to go to the Netherlands by ship to be less obvious. At 4am he was ready and heading to the harbour.
However, the car that was taking him suddenly stopped.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Stepped out from the car ->After Dark #2]] ''Always''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I couldn’t stay like this forever, I had to recover after my loss.
So I decided to try to enjoy my life again even though the memory of Hendrik is still in my mind.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Always #2]]
''It Had To Be You''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[My destination is the Netherlands.
Where Hendrik comes from. It’s very difficult to get permission to go on holiday here, especially from my father. He still didn't want me to travel away from him.
But my mother helped me to convince my father to be sincere in letting me make my life choices. Finally, he said yes.
I already prepared all the things I needed while I was in the Netherlands. From the place to stay to the tourist destinations that I will visit.
Here I come, Netherlands!]
(text-colour:grey)[[Arriving in the country ->Summer in Den Haag #1]] ''Through The Years''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I slowly started to fall in love with Bagus again. His behaviour is still the same as usual, but the feelings I had lost are back now.
I don’t want to rush into this. I am afraid that Bagus will think that he is just an excuse, when in fact he is not.
Sure, Hendrik was still in my mind, but I’m not stupid enough to let Bagus fall in love alone. Besides, Hendrik would also be happy if I had a relationship with someone he knew and trusted.
One night, Bagus takes me to the Purwosari night market.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to the Purworasi night market ->Through The Years #2]]Congratulations on finding the 5th alternative ending to the main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Tell Me Why #1]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->Bagus's Point of View]]](b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'French Script MT')[Dear Hendrik,
Hey, I don’t know where to begin. So many unexpected things have happened lately, including our meeting. If I could go back in time, I would have rejected Bagus’s call to come inside his house and answer your questions that night directly.
I also feel exactly as you do. When I came home after Bagus’s party, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was too scared to meet you and answer you directly, so I wrote this letter to you.
Best regards, Ayu.
(If you would like to reply to this letter, please hand it to Bagus. I am looking forward to your letter)]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to the Gambir Station ->Out Of Reach #2]] (b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'Embassy BT')[Dear Diajeng Sekar Ayu,
First of all, I would like to say thank you for giving me the answer to my statement at that time. I am so glad to see your letter that Bagus gave me. I still can’t believe that you chose me to be with you.
I am also very grateful that there are no disagreements between me and Bagus. He congratulated me because you chose me to be your partner.
I wish you all the best in the protection of Almighty God.
And also one thing, is it okay for me to call you Diajeng? Because it sounds so pretty and similar to the owner of the name
Love, Hendrik (your sweetheart)]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Keeping the letter ->The Prologue #3]] (b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'French Script MT')[Dear Hendrik,
Hi dear, I am very excited about today and I want to share my excitement with you.
My father has accepted our relationship. I am not making a fuss because he really gave his blessing for us. Can you come to Solo to meet my family?
It would be nice to bring your parents, maybe you will be easily accepted by my father.
Best regards, your girlfriend (Diajeng).]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Tell Me Why #6]] (b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'Embassy BT')[Dear Diajeng
If you’ve received this letter, please know that I will always love you even if I’m no longer around.
I'm so sorry for leaving you, but I promise that I will be back for you.
But I request that you don’t have to wait for me. You can continue your life. Just be happy with the people around you. I will be fine if your life is always happy because your happiness is my happiness too.
Goodbye, my love.
(Hendrik)]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Look After You]] ''Summer in Den Haag''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[When I arrived in the Netherlands, Hendrik’s parents came to pick me up. Papa Ger and Mama Ros, that’s the nickname Hendrik used and I used to call them as well.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://live.staticflickr.com/8083/8301689290_325b427d36_b.jpg">]
The journey from the airport to Den Haag only took about 3 hours.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Travelling to the Den Haag ->Summer in Den Haag #2]] (b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'Embassy BT')[Dear Diajeng,
When you read this letter, please understand that I will love you forever.
I’m sorry if on the day that we should have celebrated with joy, it ended in sorrow. I'm sorry to leave you.
Please continue living a life full of happiness. There are still many things that you can do and I’ll watch over you from up here.
I knew this day would come, so I wrote this letter beforehand.
Loving you has always been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done in my life. Thank you for everything.
Goodbye.
(Hendrik, your boyfriend)]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Fold back the letter ->Too Sad to Cry #4]] //''(text-colour:#4263eb)[Bagus’s Point of View]'' - // (text-colour:red)[//trigger warning: dead body//]
''From Here To Eternity''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[I felt uneasy because Ayu was still not going back home, so I decided to go to her.
Along the way, I couldn't think straight because I knew that Ayu was a reckless person. She would do anything to get what she wanted.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->From Here To Eternity #2]] ''Let My Heart Decide''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Bagus knew about what had happened between me and his best friend, Hendrik, and suddenly he hugged me tightly and whispered that he had loved me since we were teenagers.
I suddenly had a headache about this day, but fortunately my father’s adjutant arrived and quickly drove me back home.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to my room ->Let My Heart Decide #2]] ''But it’s Destiny''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[This morning I had decided to go to Bagus’s house and give him the answer that I should have told him yesterday.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://awsimages.detik.net.id/community/media/visual/2019/06/22/408046b9-428c-4785-8060-7ca2c99f8ac5.jpeg?w=600&q=90">]
Along the way to the Menteng area, I was thinking about the decision that I’ve made. I don’t know why it feels so odd when this is exactly what I’ve been waiting for. Is it true that I have feelings for Hendrik and those feelings for Bagus have gone away? Ah never mind, there was no end of thinking of this and I already arrived in front of Bagus’s house.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Meet Bagus at his house ->But it’s Destiny #2]] ''King Of My Heart''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Rumours of my relationship with Bagus had spread quickly and my family was pleased to hear about it, especially my father. He was looking forward to the time when Bagus and I became a husband and wife. Don’t ask about my mother’s reaction, she already knew about it because Budhe Sri had written to her about me and Bagus.
Everything seemed to go according to the plan I had been dreaming about. Living together with Bagus was what I had dreamed of.
My father and Pakdhe Putra talked about our wedding day. They did not want to wait any longer because we were already old enough, and they also wanted to see their first grandchild at the age of 50.]
(text-colour:grey)[[The day of our wedding ->King Of My Heart #2]] Congratulations on finding the 6th alternative ending to the main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Jakarta, 1964 #1]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->Nothing Feels Better]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Suddenly, someone in a white collared shirt and dark brown trousers came towards me. Hendrik, the man who recently caught my attention. I don’t know where on earth he was coming from, but suddenly he grabbed my hand and took me to the garden behind Bagus’s house.
Once we arrived there, Hendrik confessed his feelings to me. For the first time in my life I had someone confessing their feelings to me. I was shocked to hear that, so I couldn’t give any response.
While I was about to respond, Bagus grabbed my hand and dragged me away into his house, which left Hendrik standing there as he watched me leave.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Going home ->Let My Heart Decide]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[By the time I got to my room, I had lost my desire to sleep because I was thinking about what had just happened tonight. My brain took some time to process everything.
In fact, I am so happy when Bagus confessed his feelings for me but at the same time, I also want to give back feelings for Hendrik because he is the one who succeeded in making me forget about my feelings for Bagus for a while.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Going on a date with Bagus ->But it’s Destiny #1]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Trying to receive Hendrik’s love ->Out Of Reach #1]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[It seemed like Bagus had found out that I would be coming to his house. He seemed to be looking forward to the answer that I gave him.
As I hug him tightly, he seems confused about my behaviour. But apparently he realised which answer I would give him. “Thank you, thank you for choosing me Sekar. I thought you would choose Hendrik over me,” Bagus said as he gently patted my head.
“Actually, that night, I wanted to confess my feelings for you that I had been keeping for a long time” Bagus was startled hearing my answer while I just laughed watching the expression on his face. “Since when did you have feelings for me?” To be honest, I had no idea when my feelings for Bagus began because after he and his family moved to Jakarta, I felt a sense of missing and emptiness in my life there, but I just kept shaking my head and refused to answer his question.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->King Of My Heart #1]] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/12/COLLECTIE_TROPENMUSEUM_Bruiloftsstoet_te_Wedi_met_de_bruid_in_een_draagkoets_en_de_bruidegom_te_paard_TMnr_60042904.jpg/640px-COLLECTIE_TROPENMUSEUM_Bruiloftsstoet_te_Wedi_met_de_bruid_in_een_draagkoets_en_de_bruidegom_te_paard_TMnr_60042904.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[On 9 September 1964, our wedding was held. The wedding was held in Solo as requested by my father, but there were not many people who came because we only invited close friends and family.
During the whole event, I couldn't stop smiling. Finally, the day when Bagus and I became husband and wife had come.
After our wedding, I received a letter that I had no idea who wrote it because there was no mention of a name, just a big H at the top right of the letter. My mind went to Hendrik, I don’t know why his name crossed my mind.
I wasn’t sure whether to read it or throw it in the rubbish, because I didn’t want Bagus to see it and trigger an uncomfortable feeling between the two of us.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Read the letter ->Open the letter #1]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Throw away the letter ->Throw away the letter]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I opened the letter secretly in the bathroom so no one would find out. The letter came with three white rose petals.
I couldn’t stop my tears from falling when I read the letter from Hendrik.]
(text-colour:grey)[[The letter ->LETTER #7]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Without a second thought, I told Mbok Jum to burn this anonymous letter in the backyard. Of course I knew who wrote the letter, but I’d like to avoid an argument with my husband, Bagus. I didn’t want him to think unnecessary thoughts about me and Hendrik.
I could only wish that Hendrik would find his lover soon and live happily.]
(text-colour:red)[[End ->Ending Alternative #6]](b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'Embassy BT')[Dear Diajeng Sekar Ayu,
I am writing this letter just to sincerely congratulate you on marrying my best friend, Bagus Jaya Adiatma.
I am very happy to hear your good news despite my slightly tenuous friendship with Bagus as a result of that night. I also can't blame this situation because it is indeed my fault for having these feelings for you. Pardon me for having the audacity to have feelings for you, Ayu. I am very grateful to have known you even though your heart is not mine, once again I would like to say congratulations for your wedding with Bagus.
Warmest regards, Hendrik.]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Open the letter #2]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[After reading this letter, I felt a lump in my chest. A strange feeling started to come over me, I was afraid that Bagus would find out about this letter. So I decided to tell Mbok Jum to burn this letter until there was no trace left.
I was afraid that my relationship would be ruined just because of this one letter from Hendrik.
I just hoped that Hendrik would find his life partner and live happily.]
(text-colour:red)[[End ->Ending Alternative #6]](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[After finishing writing the letter, Bagus took me to Gambir. For some reason, I had a strange unwillingness to go back to Solo. It was like something was holding me back in Jakarta. With a heavy heart, I left this city and returned to where I belong.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->The Prologue #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Soon I put the letter from Hendrik safely so that my parents wouldn’t find out about my relationship with Hendrik.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->The Prologue #4]](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Now my relationship with Hendrik is almost one year. This month, I was going to tell Mom about Hendrik. It’s because my whole family thought I was in a relationship with Bagus since we frequently sent each other letters, whereas in fact the letter was sent to Bagus in order to tell it to Hendrik, my boyfriend.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to my parents room ->The News]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[My mother tried to calm him down and give him some insight into this situation, but he responded with a loud voice and slammed a vase of flowers nearby.
“My daughter, you should listen to your heart. You are grown up, I’m sure you already know what’s right and wrong. I will support you no matter what decision that you make. I will pray for you, kiddo” She hugged me so tightly until my tears, which I had been holding in all along, finally dropped.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to my room ->Beggin’ On Your Knees #3]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I went back to my room with mixed feelings. On the other hand, I wanted to pursue my relationship with Hendrik but I also wanted to see my parents and introduce them to Hendrik.
Or should I simply just obey what my father tells me to do?]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Obey my father’s wishes ->Until the Day I Die #1]]]
(text-colour:#2f9e44)[[[Run away ->Run Away With Me #1]]]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Trying to get the blessing one more time ->Tell Me Why #1]]] ''Run Away With Me''
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[“I’ve already made up my mind, Mbok. I was tired of doing what my father said and I just want to choose what I want to do in my life,” I said while picking out a few clothes to keep in Solo.
Soon after, my mother came in and was startled to see a huge bag filled with my clothes for living in Jakarta. She told me to stay at Budhe Sri's house for a while, but I refused since I felt uneasy with Bagus.
“Take care of yourself, please send me a letter every month to keep me updated about your condition in Jakarta and I pray that you will be protected by God Almighty” I hugged my mother so tight and we both burst into tears.
With a heavy heart, I left Solo that night without telling my father first.]
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://asset.kompas.com/crops/PZcYtc5GR-hots8_v8xEpVO5iwk=/0x0:590x393/750x500/data/photo/2021/02/22/6033cae874a92.jpg">]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to the railway station ->On the way to the railway station]] Congratulations on finding the 7th alternative ending to the main ending.
(text-colour:#d9480f)[[[Start from the beginning ->The Invitation]]]
(text-colour:#1864ab)[[[Start from the middle ->Let My Heart Decide]]]
(text-colour:#087f5b)[[[Start from the last chapter ->The News]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[On this day, I also decided to write to Hendrik and send him my favorite batik fabric as a special gift from me to him.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Write the letter ->LETTER #8]]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[With a heavy heart, I let Hendrik go so there will be no more hearts broken here.
It is tough in this position, I was forced to leave my boyfriend that I love so much in order to feel the warmth in my family and affection from my father.
I didn’t have any regrets about this choice, but it just took me a long time to accept it.
I sincerely hope that Hendrik will soon find a new lover for him, even though I am still here hoping for him to be with me again.]
(text-colour:red)[[End ->Ending Alternative #2]] (b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'French Script MT')[Dear Hendrik,
Hey, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. Hopefully after you receive this letter, you will understand my situation.
I’m sorry if I won’t send you any letters after this because this will be my last letter for you. I’ve no idea how my father could find out about our relationship even though I keep your letters well hidden.
Thank you for bringing a colour into my life although we haven’t seen each other for a long time. But with your letters, I can feel how your daily life is there.
I hope that you will find a better person as soon as possible and of course you will be accepted well by her family.
(Please keep my scarf as a reminder of our time together)
Kind regards, Diajeng.]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Until the Day I Die #3]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[What Mbok Narti said made me doubt myself. Shall I just follow my father's wishes?
I’d better rest now and talk with my father in the morning.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to sleep ->Until the Day I Die #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[On my way to the station, I was thinking about my future and afraid of being labelled an insolent child. But I am also tired of following all of my father's orders, which sometimes make me unable to do anything.
Soon I arrived at the station and immediately purchased a ticket for the train that departed on this day. I couldn’t delay my departure. And luckily I found out that there was one ticket left for Jakarta.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Getting onto the train to Jakarta ->Run Away With Me #3]](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I made up my mind to run away from Solo and go to Jakarta.
This decision was final and I am sure that my mother will support me. In fact, I was tired of doing what my father told me to do over and over again and I didn’t want to follow his orders anymore because I was sick of it.
Mbok Narti helps me to prepare some clothes that I will bring to Jakarta. “Non, are you really sure about leaving this place?” The question suddenly made me think twice.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Yes ->Run Away With Me #2]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Uhm.. ->Try to stay in Solo]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[My journey to Jakarta this time is tough for me because not only haven’t I said goodbye to my father, but also I have yet to inform Hendrik. Well, don’t ask me about Bagus because I still feel bad to contact him since we met at the station last time.
After settling down on the train, I tried to rest, seeing the sun was starting to rise and roosters begin to crow.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Take a rest for a while ->Run Away With Me #4]](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Suddenly I was wide awake from my sleep, and in my dream I saw someone bleeding on the ground but I couldn’t recognise their face.
I am afraid that this might be a hint of things that could happen in the future, but I quickly put that thought aside.
And before I knew it, I had arrived in Jakarta. This town would be a real witness of my journey with Hendrik.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Run Away With Me #5]](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I made the decision to go to Bagus since it was impossible for me to wander around Jakarta by myself.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Run Away With Me #6]](align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://imgsrv2.voi.id/3wOPSvOKtBfOtLaupracscVxLUdn4iTV7ozw2Oxc_c8/auto/1200/675/sm/1/bG9jYWw6Ly8vcHVibGlzaGVycy8xMzMzNy8yMDIwMDkwODE4MTMtbWFpbi5jcm9wcGVkXzE1OTk1NjM2MTIuanBlZw.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Arriving in front of Bagus’s house, I received a warm hug from Budhe Sri. Apparently the news that I had run away from home had already spread to my parents’ family and relatives.
“How come you ran away without telling your father first, my dear? Please come in and share your story with Budhe” she said as she gave me a cup of tea.
I told her everything that happened that night when my father found out about my relationship with Hendrik, “Your father is just wanting the best for his only daughter. It’s natural for him to behave like that and do you know why your father doesn’t like //sinyo//?” I shake my head to indicate that I don't know anything about why my father hates //sinyo//.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Run Away With Me #7]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Finally I made my decision to go back to Solo with Bagus. Speaking of Bagus, we had talked about our feelings and had agreed to go back together without any feelings. He had also cut off his friendship with Hendrik after knowing the reason why my father didn’t like sinyos in Indonesia.
When I finally arrived in Solo, I hugged my father and kept saying sorry. He was surprised to realise that I knew the reason behind his hatred for Hendrik. “Thank you for coming home, dear. I didn’t want to stop you but I couldn’t let you experience the same kind of misfortune as my sister who was always abused whenever she did something wrong and I’m afraid you might experience something like that.”
I am still crying in his hug and he tries to calm me down, “It’s okay. What matters now is that you’re here, you’ve chosen your family. There are still many men out there who love you more than what you received from Hendrik”.
Although it was hard, I would follow whatever my father said as long as it was good for me.]
(text-colour:red)[[End ->Ending Alternative #7]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[After I heard the story about my father’s hatred for //sinyo//, I was shocked. How could he keep such a heavy thing all by himself? I had no idea of the burden he carried.
My heart just dropped and I was eager to go back to Solo and ask for his forgiveness. Budhe Sri gave me the advice to go back to Solo immediately.
I was very confused about everything. Perhaps I should go back to Solo and leave behind any desire to be with Hendrik.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Going back to Solo ->Run Away With Me #8]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Uhm... but if I don’t go to him, I’ll get lost and I’ll quickly run out of the money I brought from Solo.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->YES]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[With the amount of money that I have, I’m trying to live here for a week. However, I still can’t contact Hendrik because I don’t know where he lives and the only way to find out is to contact Bagus.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Go to Bagus’s house ->YES]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Discourage the idea to go to Bagus’s house ->NO]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Budhe Ratu was her name. She never contacted her family after marrying that man. So no one knew what life was like after they got married.
Until one day, when my father wanted to buy some vegetables at Pasar Gede and met Budhe Ratu. Her body looked so thin until her cheek bones were clearly exposed. Immediately he approached her, but soon a Dutch man who was Budhe Ratu’s husband arrived and seemed angry when my father tried to take his younger sister back home.
“//Je hebt het recht niet om haar mee naar huis te nemen, ze is officieel mijn vrouw// (You have no right to take her home, she is legally my wife)” He becomes angry at this man’s words, but he couldn’t do something about it because Budhe Ratu held him back and told him that she was fine.
Then, 2 months after his meeting with Budhe Ratu, she was found dead because her husband never gave her proper food and always used her to satisfy his sexual desires. The husband also often used Budhe Ratu for money by selling her to his friends.
This is what made my father hates those Dutch people so much.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Tell Me Why #3]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I tried to convince my father about Hendrik since he is one of Bagus’s close friends, a person that my father trusted.
“Hendrik is a good person, and please believe me when I say that he is also Bagus’s best friend. In fact Bagus was the one who introduced me to him, so please give me a chance to be with Hendrik. I promise, I won’t forget about my family in Solo, especially you and mother. I’ll always send you a message about how I’m doing or you can hire an aide to keep an eye on me in Jakarta” I knelt down to beg my father for blessings.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Tell Me Why #4]](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Surprisingly, my father has finally agreed although he will keep an eye on my relationship with Hendrik.
“I want to see your child growing up well and building a harmonious family, that’s all my wishes if you can grant it” I cried hearing that, I couldn’t face the idea of losing my father in my life even though sometimes I was pissed off by his bossy behaviour but I realised that it was good for me.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to my room ->Tell Me Why #5]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Soon, I started writing a letter to Hendrik about this news.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Write the letter for Hendrik ->LETTER #3]] (b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'Embassy BT')[Dear Diajeng,
I am really happy to hear your news. Regarding your invitation for me to come to Solo, I might have to consider it first. There are so many factors that keep me from coming to see you and your family, one of which is the change of government which makes it difficult to travel freely.
I apologise for not being able to visit you in Solo. But if you are willing to come to Jakarta, I will wait for you.
Best regards, your boyfriend (Hendrik).]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Meet Me in the Hallway #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[A week later, a reply from Hendrik arrived. I can’t wait to hear what he has to say.
I immediately went to my room to read it.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to my room and read the letter ->LETTER #9]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[In these circumstances, it’s very difficult for me to get in touch with him even through a letter.
Should I tell him to go back to the Netherlands with his family for a while or stay in Jakarta until everything settles down?
Both of these things were crucial to Hendrik and I. I had no idea of the future at all. I just didn't know what to do.]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Tell him to stay in Jakarta ->Hold On]]]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Tell him to go to the Netherlands for a while ->It's Time To Go]]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[When I arrived in Jakarta, Bagus picked me up and said that I could stay at his house.
I agreed and headed off to where he would take us.
After arriving at his house, Bagus told me to rest immediately so that the next day I could go straight to Hendrik's house and he would take me there.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Take a rest ->Happiest Year #3]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[“Ayu, wake up. It’s already morning, you said you were going to surprise Hendrik,” I immediately awake and rush to the bathroom while Bagus just giggles at me.
After getting ready, I went to the dining room to have breakfast first. Budhe Sri and Pakdhe Jaya were already there, and they greeted me with a warm hug. “You’ve grown up, kiddo, Pakdhe was surprised to see you” said Pakdhe Jaya and I just smiled back.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Happiest Year #4]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[We were talking to each other at the dinner table until we heard the radio announcing that seven major generals and one assistant general had been killed in Indonesia. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://asset-2.tstatic.net/travel/foto/bank/images/weltevreden-jakarta_20180505_193226.jpg">]
I quickly asked Bagus to take me to Hendrik’s house.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Arriving in Hendrik’s house ->Too Sad to Cry #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I couldn’t bear to look at him, seeing him lying dead with a bullet scar on his body.
I burst into tears watching him no longer breathing.
“Why did you have the audacity to leave me here alone??!?!?! It’s our anniversary babe, I should have been the one to surprise you. In fact I was the one who got the surprise” I cried until my tears were no longer left.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Too Sad to Cry #3]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I notice a letter in his hand and pick up the letter slowly.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Read the letter ->LETTER #6]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I burst into tears after reading that letter. I just couldn’t imagine all that had happened today.
I am so shattered that I barely realise that it is getting dark. I am too weak on my knees to stand up and just silently sobbing over Hendrik’s body.
I had no idea it would hurt this much to lose the person that I love. I don’t know what to do after this.
Do I need to (text-colour:#e03131)[[[end my life ->We Belong Together #1]]] too so I can live with Hendrik in Heaven or (text-colour:#1971c2)[[[just keep moving on ->I'll Never Smile Again #1]]]?](align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Stumbling, I walked straight back to Hendrik’s room and cut my hand.
I lay down beside Hendrik. It hurt like hell but it was covered by the joy I will get.
Suddenly, my vision began to blur and I sensed a bright light in front of me reaching out its hand.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Reach for that hand ->We Belong Together #4]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[“Hey, we meet again”
That voice, that familiar voice I always remember every moment of my life. It’s Hendrik.
He gently takes me into his arms, “I’m sorry if I left you first and made you feel lonely,” he says as he gently strokes my hair.
There was no regret in my heart and I hoped that my family would let me be happy with Hendrik up here.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->From Here To Eternity #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[From outside Hendrik’s house, I didn’t see any sign of life. The front light that didn't turn on made me feel anxious.
Until I found two people lying on the floor covered in blood. Guess who I saw.
Yes, they are Hendrik and Ayu.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->From Here To Eternity #3]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[I was stunned to see them until my knees couldn’t stand. I was so shocked seeing two people who meant so much in my life leaving me behind.
I quickly contacted my mother and Hendrik’s family about this.
I hope Ayu and Hendrik can be happy and live in peace.]]
(text-colour:blue)[[End ->Main Ending #2]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#2b8a3e)[Bagus is the person that Abimanyu has chosen as his right-hand man to leak the information about Hendrik given to him by his daughter, Sekar.
Abimanyu knows that Hendrik will go to the Netherlands according to the orders given by his daughter and he creates a scenario to keep his well-laid plans unknown to his daughter.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Feel Something #3]] (text-colour:#2b8a3e)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[After knowing that Hendrik was going to the Netherlands, Abimanyu delivered the information to a group of people who were looking for a major general in Indonesia as well as his trusted aides, one of whom was Hendrik.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->After Dark #1]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#2b8a3e)[Hendrik went out to check on the car.
He suddenly got hit on his head with a long wooden stick, but luckily he was able to avoid it and a fist fight happened at that moment.
Hendrik feels exhausted because one of them is using a knife to injure him and purposely injures Hendrik’s leg to weaken him.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->After Dark #3]] (text-colour:#2b8a3e)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[From afar there is a man who is looking at this. He is Bagus, he just kept quiet and did not take any action. But he felt very sorry about what his friend was going through.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Bagus's Point of View]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[Hendrik’s eyes seemed to open slightly but he did not move.
“Bagus? Why are you here?” he apparently woke up. I was tongue-tied to tell him the truth. “I just passed by and found you lying on the side of the road,” I said to make sure he believed me.
Then there was no answer from him.
I’m taking him to West Java so that no one can find Hendrik and I’ll tell them that he died after being attacked by the rebels.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->All I Wanted #3]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[Hendrik seemed confused when he spotted a house that was far away from Jakarta. “What do you mean by bringing me here, Gus? What really happened?”
I slowly told him about the plan that had been arranged by Ayu's father who still held a grudge towards the Dutch.
Hendrik started to understand about this condition and accepted what was happening to him, “Thank you for saving me, Gus. You are my best friend of all time. Therefore, I leave you this letter for Diajeng and I will also give Diajeng back to you”.
After saying goodbye to Hendrik, I immediately went home to give a letter to Ayu.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go back home ->All I Wanted #4]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[Arriving home, I quickly got ready to catch a train to Solo.
I had already contacted Hendrik’s family about the condition of his son, who had been killed by a group of people that targeted a major Indonesian general and top aide.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Go to the railway station ->All I Wanted #5]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[On the train I can’t stop thinking about the response of Ayu after hearing this. I wasn’t prepared to see her get hurt but this is a good opportunity for me to win her heart.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Arriving in Solo ->All I Wanted #6]] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://asset-2.tstatic.net/tribunnews/foto/bank/images/kompleks-kepatihan-pada-zaman-dahulu-saat-masih-berdiri-megah.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[In front of Ayu’s house, I saw her sobbing on her front terrace. Her eyes seemed to be crying for hours straight. Did she know about this?
I approached her and gave her a hug. Soon her tears burst and I felt that my shirt became wet. She was crying so hard.
I couldn’t ask her about why she was like this and I could only wait until she calmed down and started to talk.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Gently calming her down ->All I Wanted #7]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[The tears started to fade and Ayu loosened her hug, “Tell me if it’s all a lie! Hendrik didn’t die, did he?!?!! What was reported on the radio is not Hendrik, my boyfriend, right? Answer me Gus!” I couldn’t bear to see Ayu like this, so I decided to give Ayu a letter written by Hendrik for her.
After receiving the letter, Ayu immediately ran to her room while I remained silent on the front terrace until Budhe Wulan’s voice broke my thoughts.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[In Ayu’s room ->All I Wanted #8]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I read the letter with my hands trembling and the tears pouring down.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Read the letter ->LETTER #4]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[Speaking of Bagus, he chooses to live in Solo with me now. He said that he wanted me to stop staying in my room and grieving.
His persistence in this way is causing my long-lost feelings for him to reappear.
But suddenly I thought of travelling far away to erase all my memories with Hendrik.]
(text-colour:#e03131)[[[Try to build a relationship with Bagus again ->Through The Years #1]]]
(text-colour:#1971c2)[[[Travelling to somewhere ->It Had To Be You]]] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://tumpi.id/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Alun-alun-Gladag-Solo-tempoe-dulu-1935-Asia-Maior.jpg">]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[There, he confessed his feelings for me and I said yes. I never dreamed that my love story would end with Bagus, my childhood friend.
A month after we started our relationship, we finally got married and lived in Jakarta for the rest of our lives.]
(text-colour:red)[[End ->Ending Alternative #5]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[When I got to Hendrik’s family home, I was warmly welcomed by the big family who were waiting for me to come.
I was very welcomed by them. This really touched me considering that my family rarely does small celebrations like this. It’s very fortunate that Hendrik grew up in a very warm and loving family.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<img src="https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f5/bd/96/f5bd961d5cdf67432b31a36640f8d2de.jpg">]
During my time here, I feel very attached to Hendrik. I can feel that he is always by my side wherever I go.
This makes me not want to go back to Indonesia in a while.]
(text-colour:red)[[End ->Ending Alternative #4]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(text-colour:#c92a2a)[When I arrived at Ayu’s house, I saw her look gloomy on the front terrace. Her blank stare was obvious from her eyes.
“Bagus, tell me if the rumours over the radio aren’t true!!!” Ayu started crying while yelling at me. Apparently she already knew this, so I did my best to maintain my expression in order to avoid her suspecting me.
“I’m sorry Ayu, this is the letter I found at Hendrik’s house” I handed her the letter that I actually wrote.
Ayu took the letter and went into her room.]]
(text-colour:grey)[[In Ayu’s room ->LETTER #5]] (b4r:"solid")+(b4r-size:0.1)+(b4r-colour:black)[(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[(font:'Blackadder ITC')[Dear Diajeng Sekar Ayu,
I’m sorry for leaving you, I already had a feeling about this before but I didn't want to tell you.
With this letter, I also want to tell you that I never really loved you.
I already have a girlfriend besides you.
I hope after this you can let me go and forgive me for this.
Sorry.]]]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Traitor #3]] I don’t know why I feel Hendrik’s handwriting is different this time. It felt like it wasn't Hendrik who wrote it.
Although I was very disappointed after reading his letter. My feelings are mixed right now. I feel angry, sad and disappointed all together.
(text-colour:grey)[[Call Mbok Narti ->Traitor #4]] (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[I immediately called Mbok Narti to burn all the letters from Hendrik that I had kept and all the things he had given me.
I don’t want to grieve for someone who has wasted my feelings.]
(text-colour:grey)[[Next ->Make You Feel My Love]]
(align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[These days, Bagus is the one who has been spending most of the time with me lately.
I tried to get rid of all my memories with Hendrik. Bagus succeeded in getting my heart back but I chose not to be in a relationship with anyone because the wound caused by Hendrik was so deep that I couldn’t trust anyone at the moment.
However, I am very lucky to have Bagus and I wish that my feelings will return someday so that Bagus doesn’t feel that his love is one-sided.]
(text-colour:red)[[End ->Ending Alternative #1]]